Retep's guide to surviving Guilin, China!

Hello peeps I'm finally back from my 6 day vacation in the People's Republic of China!

And to commemorate this auspicious occasion, I shall post up a Guilin survival guide that is based on my experience there.

(Applies to Guilin only because generalizing the whole of china based on one small city is bad for business. But I’m assuming the whole of China is like this anyway.)

Wookay so lets get started!

If you despise smokers and can't tolerate the smell of cigarette smoke, this is not the place for you.

That is because 96% of the people I see on the streets are heavy/chain smokers. Yes I know, who am I to tell people off about their personal preferences and choices right? But the LEAST they could do is have some consideration to the people around them, ESPECIALLY when you’re smoking in a damned confined air-conditioned place. It’s suffocating you know?

But if you’re a smoker yourself, then by all means disregeard this whole paragraph I’ve written.

If you can’t drive in Malaysia, you’d die even ATTEMPTING to drive in Guilin.

Here’s a tip when driving in Guilin – The horn is your best friend.

If you see a pedestrian crossing the street USING THE ZEBRA CROSSING – you horn like there’s no tomorrow.

If you see a motorcyclist/cyclist blocking your way – you horn like you’re being paid to do so.

If you see a car hogging the road – you don’t flash your headlights, but you horn his arse off the lane.

Conclusion: It’s against the law to NOT use the horn while driving. I’m just saying.

Oh not to mention they use a left-hand drive system there in China, which simply means that for their road system, left is right, and right is left. The fast lane is on the left, whereas the slow lane is on the right. Very confusing indeed.

Never EVER look into the kitchen when you’re in a restaurant.

That is of course, unless you’re the type of person who does not fear the word disgusting/nauseating/revolting etc.

The few restaurants I’ve been to have staffs that probably don’t wash the woks that the chefs use to cook in ever since they bought it. The walls itself behind the woks are black and thick with grease a millenium old and sometimes you might even catch a rat or two running across the floor and through the appliances back there. Nevertheless, the food is rather tasty though, probably the rat’s doing. Mmmm.

Not only that, certain streets have the smell of fermented toufu combined with someone’s week old diarrhoea waste topped up with sour milk. Nyam~ <3

Hygiene? What hygiene?

In Guilin china, the floor is your rubbish bin. Feel free to throw your cigarette buds and spit all you like as it’s like a custom there. You want to blend in, you litter and spit as you please, even though a waste bin is probably within your arm’s reach. If the government of China had a strict no litter policy like Singapore, they’d EASILY make millions every day. But oh well, this is China after all.

You need to have really REALLY thick skin when bargaining for something from those mini stalls along the pedestrian street. (think Petalling Street)

For example, initially the price of a magnet being sold at this particular stall costs 20 yuan (RM10) but with proper bargaining techniques, you can manage to get the price lowered down to a measely 5 yuan for TWO! (RM 2.50). Of course there are several factors that can enhance the efficiency of your bargaining.

First, you need to ignore the fact that the seller is only trying to make ends meet or even get enough money to afford a meal. You’re blind or hardhearted if you can’t see that they’re living in poverty and are having a hard time, and by lowering the price that drastically, you’re making it harder for them to survive. So if you can be ignorant about that, no problems!

Secondly, in order to save MORE money in certain stalls, you need to walk away to get the seller to BEG you to buy their goods. When you have managed to do that, you have them right where you want them and you then go in for the kill by giving them a impossible price for an item otherwise its no deal.

Would they succumb to that method? I’d give it an 80% success rate.

If the second method was too heartless for your liking, then try buying in bulk as it would allow the seller to give you the opportunity of letting you suggest a REASONABLE price that you are willing to fork out for the item.

I'll update this post again if I manage to recall other experiences of mine that I have somehow left out.

So with that being said, if you can somehow manage to ignore these few flaws that Guilin has and master the ways of being headstrong and thick skinned like a bear, you would most likely enjoy your trip there as the various cultures they have is really an eye opener and its scenery is worthy of being placed on a back of a postcard.

Pictures are up on my Facebook profile so wookay!